The Doctor in the Shadow
by Bella in the Abyss
Summary: Maybe Rose would have known exactly the right thing to say but it was Martha who had just saved the world. 3rd in the Women Who Wait series. No bashing just some one-sided Martha/Doctor feels with some Doctor/Rose and John Smith/Joan angst thrown in.


Title: The Doctor in the Shadow  
Summary: Maybe Rose would have known exactly the right thing to say but it was Martha who had just saved the world. 3rd in the Women Who Wait series.  
Timeline: From _The Shakespeare Code _through to _Last of the Time Lords.  
_Word Count: 1307  
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or the song quoted below.  
A/N: I don't see this as Martha bashing at all though I don't shy away from the harsher thoughts and feelings of Martha. I like to think of it as character development, from smitten to jealous and bitter to fed up to accepting.  
A/N2: My other Doctor Who oneshots are feeling lonely. If you liked this one please let me know and then if you really want to, read my other stories and review them maybe?

* * *

_What do you think of me?_

_Are you quite proud of this make believe_

_Curtain that hangs around everything_

_You can admire in that girl?_

_She's so damn beautiful_

_So Damn Beautiful  
Poloroid _

When Martha returned home (and she prays that won't happen for a good long while) she was going to write JK Rowling the most genuine and heartfelt fan letter in the history of all fandoms. Who would have ever guessed _Expelliarmus _would one day save the world?

Martha walked side by side with the Doctor; arm linked through his once more. Every so often she would look up at him expecting, or rather _hoping, _to see him grinning down at her. After all, she had helped save the world today. She is an intelligent and independent woman who is training to be a doctor, the proper kind with a lower case letter and she is well aware she can turn many heads, not just those belonging to 16th centaury flirts. She is completely confident in her abilities. Or she used to because right now she still felt a little bruised from the Doctor's detached attitude and his words from last night.

_'Rose would know. A friend of mine, Rose, right now she'd say exactly the right thing.' He flipped onto his back and stared determinedly at the ceiling. Like acknowledging the mere presence of Martha was an insult to the memory of this Rose girl. 'Still can't be helped. You're a novice, never mind.' _

As if _Rose _would have single-handedly discovered the Carronite's plot, defeated them and had everyone home in time for tea. Martha has never met the girl, barely has enough second-hand information to form an opinion about her but she still can't help the tiny spark of resentment the Doctor's words had ignited.

'Not bad for a novice.' She said, tired of the silence.

The Doctor looked down at her and finally, finally gave her that grin, the one that told her he was proud of her even if she is the wrong girl to be on his arm.

'Not bad at all.' He replied and despite the fact she _does not _fancy him (though she wouldn't mind if he kissed her again because he can call it what he likes but it didn't feel like _nothing _to her) and despite the fact he is an alien with a pompous name and despite the fact he's all mopey and hung up on some other girl, Martha can't help but notice the way her stomach flips in a not at all unpleasant way.

_Oh no no, she's just an invention. This character, Rose, I call her, Rose. Seems to disappear later on..._

Martha Jones didn't go through all those years of schooling and she didn't run off with a time travelling alien just so she could end up scrubbing the floors in 1913. With a vicious gesture the newly minted maid dunked her scrubbing brush into the soapy water once more, cursing under her breath when it splashed onto her uniform.

'Penny for your thoughts.' Jenny asked, her thick accent only serving to irritate Martha further. Not that Martha dislikes Jenny by any stretch of the imagination but in her current mood, any reminder of her situation grated on her nerves and her fellow maid was unfortunately a reminder.

'I'm fine.' Martha said in a tone that made it clear she was certainly _not _fine.

'Did you hear your Mr Smith is taking Nurse Redfern to the village dance?'

'He isn't mine.' Martha hissed between clenched teeth. Jenny immediately adopted an expression of honest contrition.

'Oh I'm sorry.' She apologised. 'I know how you feel…'

'No you don't!' Martha exploded, throwing her scrubbing brush down the hall. The hollow sound it made when it hit the wooden floor echoed loudly in the shocked silence left in the wake of her outburst.

Glancing over at Jenny and seeing her crestfallen expression immediately softened Martha's own.

'I'm sorry Jenny, really I am. But-' Martha faltered. How could she explain the situation without revealing the whole truth?

'My personal feelings for the - Mr Smith aside, we'll be gone in a few weeks, maybe sooner and Nurse Redfern will be heartbroken.' _Because that's what the Doctor does, _Martha thought bitterly, _travels through time and space leaving a trail of broken hearts and dead bodies in his wake. _

'Maybe Mr Smith has found something worth staying for?' Jenny suggested quietly. Martha just shook her head.

'No, he can't. He's needed elsewhere. And no one can ever measure up to Rose.' Martha wished she knew more about Rose, something more than the wistful hints the Doctor dropped when he was at his lowest. Just a little something to make her seem like a real, ordinary girl instead of the mental image Martha had of some kind of Wonder Woman.

'Rose?' Jenny asked eagerly. Martha silently cursed her careless slip. Sighing deeply she went to retrieve the scrubbing brush before replying, needing time to come up with an acceptable cover story for the delicate sensibilities of the era.

'Mr Smith had a fiancée. Her name was Rose.' Jenny's mouth dropped open in a large O of surprise. 'Childhood sweethearts,' Martha continued. 'But she died, fell from her horse and broke her neck.' the trainee doctor turned temporary maid and alien-sitter made up on the spot.

Jenny, always so sweet and naïve covered her mouth with a trembling hand.

'Oh that's tragic.' She whispered. Martha had to agree.

'Mr Smith was devastated. Still is. And Nurse Redfern is a safe distraction from his pain because it _can't_ last.' What Martha had said wasn't that far from the truth, the Doctor couldn't remember Rose right now but when he did, any feelings "John Smith" had for Joan would disappear except for maybe pity and guilt.

Never in the Doctor's instructional video did he mention what to do if John Smith fell in love. Though to be fair, Martha hadn't considered the possibility either. Why would she when, even now his memories of the Doctor only bled through during dreams, he could still remember the face of the girl who left him?

_It's like – it's like when you fancy someone and they don't even know you exist. It's like that. _

Oh but she wanted to slap him then. How could the Doctor be so cruel? True he was an alien but he was constantly exulting in his superior intelligence so he shouldn't be _that _obtuse.

'You too, huh?' Captain Jack asked. On the surface his voice was light and amused but underlining the amusement was concern and pity which made Martha's palm itch with the need to slap somebody, she wasn't much fussed _who _anymore.

Her intentions must have flashed across her face because the immortal man quickly scurried after the Doctor. Martha followed after them, thinking to herself that maybe, once her family was safe from the psychotic Time Lord named the Master, maybe it was time to return to her former life.

_So this is me, getting out._

She felt lighter, free when she stepped out of the Tardis. She would miss it, miss _him. _Already she felt a slight ache in her chest. She would never forget the wonders the Doctor introduced her to-he had showed her something much bigger than herself or really any human and she felt humbled and honoured to have experienced it. She wouldn't pretend it wasn't a difficult decision. But it was the right decision for her. The Jones family unit needed her with them, after being uncertain of her fate for a year it wouldn't be doing them any favours not to have her within city limits for a while. In another galaxy a thousand years in the future was out of the question. The former companion turned and smiled sadly at the spot where the Tardis had been parked not a minute earlier. She only hoped the Doctor would find someone else soon. He really did do better with someone by his side.


End file.
